Lapsus lingae


It is always highly appreciated when you speak other languages. I love languages and I always admire those, who have perfect accent or grammar etc. But… it’s rare that you make no mistakes at all, even in your mother tongue, when you are tired or in a rush.

I will never forget one story. I will try to explain it in English, although this mistake is from French. A few years ago I was visiting a friend of mine, who was hosting during a few days her Dad. He is a serious man. I was stressed and had no idea what I could speak about with him. French… it’s easy, their cuisine, they are always happy to talk about the food… “Une poele” means “a pan”.  And as he was frying something, I wanted to tell him, I know many one-pan recipes as I like “cuisiner a poele”.

A short notice, Polish language doesn’t use articles. Le, la, les, une, un, des, the, a, der, die, das, ein, eine – these small words don’t exist in our language… And when I studied literature and grammar, I was lazy. I think I could learn how to use them properly but I didn’t bother. Not using articles in other languages, can change the meaning of the words…

So, “a poil” which phonetically is the same as “a poele” means “naked”. Instead of saying “a la poele” I used the phrase without the article “la” and said I love cooking naked. His shocked face and then laugh – unforgettable 🙂

Do you remember the film “What women want?”, a movie starring Mel Gibson? One day he wakes up and can read womens’ minds. One of my dreams was to one time wake up and hear all the languages that I speak from a native speaker perspective. I can hear my friends who speak Polish, what their accent is and what small mistakes they do. But I cannot here my English or French from the native’s perspective.

E.g. once I said to a friend “I will bring vodka” in French. She started laughing and asked if one of my friends is called Vodka as without an article, it can mean I am talking about a person. It’s a pity I will never hear it from this perspective. Although, who knows, my husband is a scientist, I will tell him to work on some kind of “language brain machine” which would enable it 🙂

Locomotive Idiocy

I am very proud of myself. Today I constructed 3 things I bought in Ikea (a small bench, a kitchen table and a wine bottle cupboard) and… they are all good, nothing is upside down or oblique.

Let me explain. I have something that Eryk calls “Debilizm motoryczny” (Locomotive idiocy). And I am not offended when he said so first time. I really have it… Once I constructed a table for our dining room. It was the easiest (and the cheapest) table on Earth and… I put all the metal things outside. He asked me what I did and I said “Oh, it is supposed to be like this. It is a modern style.”And Eryk said “Yep, it is litttle bit  too metallic-urbanic for me.” It turned out I made it back to front.

So, even if my furniture that I  bought today, are from 10 screws and 4 parts, I am extremely proud and enjoy having my laptop on the small table next to my coach and writing this post. Have a nice Saturday evening everyone 🙂



A (blond) crone comes to the doctor… or przychodzi (blond) baba do lekarza

One of reasons I wanted to write this blog, was my blond intelligence and stories around it. First story below.  This one happened at the doctor’s, but some even more blond stories I will describe very soon, before I forget them. (not only my brain is as small as the gerbil’s one but also my memory – gerbils and Kasia remember things for maximum 3 days 🙂 )

One day, during my studies in Poland I had to have some basic medical exams before starting a job as a teacher.

“Doctor, doctor I need to check my hearing”.

“No problem Dear. So you have to bla bla bla”.

Some of my faux pas or stupid reactions are the effect of me not focusing on the answer. I always have 100 ideas in 1 minute and the simple rules of a very easy medical exam were so easy, that I decided not to listen to them. But of course it was a very easy test and if I were not blond, I would have guessed what I should have been doing.

There was some music being played in my left and right ear. I had to raise my left or right hand (depending on in which ear I heard it) when I started hearing something.

So I am sitting there and hearing some music, then louder and louder and then when I was almost deaf, the doctor started shouting: “ARE YOU NOT HEARING THIS LOUD MUSIC??!!!”.

I had to explain him that I did not understand his instructions. His look was very suspicious, maybe instead of hearing test, he should have sent me to some IQ tests….




Wellies and my witchy sister

2 years ago I got a pair of wellies from my sister for birthday. They are very nice but… I thought I would not use them unless I go for mushrooming in the rain or something.

My sis Sylvia sometimes tells me she’s a witch. Yep yep, sometimes she’s witchy to people, but so am I 🙂 But she said it in a spooky way: “Sometimes I have premonitions about certain things and then I’m always right.” I took it as a bla bla talk but… when she gave me these wellies, she said she knew I would definitely need them.

It’s July 13 – full summer season, the weather predictions for this week, as they were for the previous week, are “light rain” in Züri. When in Zurich they say “light rain”, it means it is raining cats and dogs…

So yes my dear sis, you ARE a witch, I DO believe you now. And please take your wellies when you visit me, we will have lots of fun when mushrooming 🙂 But don’t worry, every 3 days there is some sun 🙂 And thank you for the most useful birthday present I have ever got!

After the last whistle during Euro 2016

“What are we going to do during the evenings when there is no more Euro 2016?” asked my husband… I was a little bit concerned. First of all, I thought we have things to do apart from football… Second of all, when I met Eryk, he didn’t event like this game.

Euro 2016 is over. Congrats to Portugal, first time European Champion. Cristiano Ronaldo  is a big player and surely deserved to raise the Cup with the whole team. Bravo les Français , ce championnat vous a rapprochée. And congrats to all other teams, especially Underdogs that I always support like Iceland or Wales or even Ireland who almost caused a surprise against France in group matches. Bravo Poland, I think we have a lot of work to do, but we have team spirit and started scoring. We just have to score more then during this Euro 😉

Anyway, I hope what we won’t be bored after Euro 2016 with my husband 😉 Actually I will close this computer right now and… go to sleep 😉 Sweet dreams everybody and happy celebration to Portugal 🙂


Coffee on/off

Yesterday I heard the text of the week of my husband. It’s not only what he says, but especially how he says it: in a completely casual, sometimes lazy way like if he was asking me to prepare some tea when I’m in the kitchen.

Yesterday we were watching some movies and I was drinking some ice coffee that I bought in Germany. Of course I spilled it and then run to the bathroom to take my new stain remover and use it.

My Dearest Husband, while watching me removing the coffee from the coach, said in his casual manner: “Fortunately you bought the whole kit. A coffee to spill on the coach and your product to remove the stain”.

I was rolling on the floor for the next 20 minutes. It is good to have some laugh in all the worries and stress of every day life.

Here we go, my stain on/off kit 🙂 It is all blurry as I used my newest whitening to hide the brand 😉 but here it is… And if you have any stains of coffe, ink, paint or blood, just call me – I will help you as I bough the products for all types of stains 😉


Beer belly

I wanted to work for 30 minutes before catching the train, but as I experienced the maintenance of our website, I am writing a quick, FUNNY post for blong.

Any advice on belly exercises??!! I am following some during fitness but I don’t think that it helps.

Why? Third time, THIRD time in a month a woman asked me if I was pregnant.It was our cleaning lady from the bank. I was downstairs texting a friend, she was passing by and with a big smile asked “Bist du schwanger?” When she saw my big eyes, the next 10 minutes she was apologizing.

Second time, it was when my neighbour saw me in my sporty clothes. She said I am all healthy and sporty and if I’m pregnant. But as I don’t want any any dead rats at my door steps, I will just say it is all fine and I took it with a smile.

First time, it was a guy who gave me his seat in the train. As he was insisting, I took it… What the heck, I don’t any kid, so at least I will sit when I’m tired and…. fatty? 🙂

So I am asking again, does anybody know very good belly exercises, I am trying everything, I am not weighting a lot… But all my weight is in my belly…

I could not find a scene from “Ice Age” where Sid, the ground sloth, is congratulating one of animals on being pregnant and she shouts loudly “I AM NOT PREGNANT”. That would be my reaction if they ask me forth time… But for now, some of my newest plush toys, including Scrat from “Ice Age”. I need to find a Sid too… And the newest movie is coming soon, we will definitely watch it 🙂